Let Bygones be Bygones

Everyone has been in a situation where someone has broken their trust, or simply just made them upset. In these types of cases we’re taught to forgive and forget. Doing this wipes a person’s slate clean, so they can either learn from their mistakes or be free to make them again. If the person decides to learn and become a better person, forgiveness is a beautiful thing. Both parties come out happy, as the person who was deceived will regain their trust in the person who had once broken it and the other will be forgiven.

The beauty of forgiveness reminded me of the Scorpion Grass plant, also known as the Forget-Me-Not flower. This flower symbolizes many things, but one I find interesting is how it symbolizes fidelity and loyalty in a relationship, despite separation or other challenges. Some challenges may be their trust issues, especially when partners are far apart. A select amount of people think their partner will be more inclined to cheat, since they aren’t present.  Most people will be loyal to their significant other, but what happens when they aren’t and that beauty of forgiveness shrivels up and dies? Will they truly forgive and forget?

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When it comes to romantic relationships, most people wouldn’t forgive if their partner cheated on them. Yes, some give second chances, but after that they usually leave if it happens again. Forgiveness plays such a big factor in relationships, and not just romantic ones.

Where most people find the need to forgive is when they’re deceived by friends. Most people have a handful of friends, but they don’t necessarily trust them. Friends sometimes have the need to tell others secrets they have heard. If they happened to tell your secrets that’s when it becomes a problem. Trust is broken, and people are upset. In these cases people tend to forgive, but not forget. As they probably won’t trust the other person with secrets again. Everyone has dealt with this one time or another, I know I have. I’m one to test out if a person is trustworthy, but if I find out they’re not I won’t trust them again. I’ve had to stop trusting some of my closest friends at times, because they told something they shouldn’t have. For me I always forgive, but I never forget.

People can also take advantage of those who are so forgiving. They know the person will forgive them no matter what, so they keep being their friend for convenience. I also had friends like these, and people like that caused me to be less trusting. I think that’s a good thing though, because you learn not everyone is reliable. Forgiveness is an amazing thing, but only to a certain extent. You must learn to forgive those who deserve it, and not let people take advantage of your forgiveness.

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Dubious Dilemmas

If you were stranded on an Island would you be the one to calm everyone down, or be the one to erupt in hysteria? For some people it’s pretty clear what they would do, but others doubt themselves. They wouldn’t know unless they were in that situation, so they’re left with the feeling of uncertainty and fear of what would truly happen.

This fear of the unknown is what halts many of us from doing the things we love, or it could stop us from making bad decisions. Doubt affects our everyday lives, and it does it differently to each and every one of us. If you’re a teen who gets offered a cigarette, doubt instantly sets in. You know you’re not suppose to do drugs because they’re bad for you, but you don’t want to seem like a chicken to the rest of your “friends”. Being there was no supervision, you slowly reach for the cigarette, but something stops you, doubt. You don’t want to become addicted, or go home and get in trouble, so you say no. Perhaps, after seeing what your “friends” are doing, you doubt the validity of your friendship and get rid of those kinds of toxic people in your life. In this case, doubt positively affected you. This lack of certainty made it so your life didn’t go in a downwards spiral, but doubt doesn’t always act so nicely.

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Sometimes, this feeling can cause you to lose opportunities that are beneficial to you. Let’s say you’re a really shy person who barely speaks, but you have a beautiful singing voice. A friend encourages you to audition for the school talent show, so everyone can hear the gift you have. You think about it over the next few days, but the sign up date is slowly approaching. You fear you could mess up in front of everyone, but you also think about completely nailing it and having that sense of pride in yourself. Doubt fills your thoughts with the horrid things people could say if you mess up. This overwhelming negativity in your mind, out ruling the positive aspects of auditioning for the school talent show. You decide not to; the opportunity for you to break out of your shell and become something great, now gone. In this case, hesitation set it and doubt affected you in a different way. You overthought things and decided to look upon the negative aspects, instead of the positive ones.

It’s good to be uncertain about your decisions sometimes, but don’t let it become a problem. These types of things can become mental illnesses, such as OCD. The fear of the unknown can be a wonderful, or horrendous thing. Don’t let doubt control you, but don’t completely dismiss it, as you need to question life sometimes.

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The Invisible Advantage

Everyday tasks such as showering, eating breakfast, and going to school seem so insignificant to us.  We’re use to having these things at hand with no second thought, as they’re things necessary in life, but to others they may not be available. This could be because there aren’t funds for school, or enough sources for clean water and food. They’re vital parts in day to day life for us, but others don’t have the privilege to have such things.

 

Most of us don’t even think about how others are getting through life without the things we can’t live without. A big example being school. Some kids can’t afford to go, or their country can’t fund schooling. Personally, I would say most kids tend to take school for granted. If you were to ask a student if they’ve ever second guessed going to school, or skipping, they’ll most likely tell you yes. School is hard and all, but overall you have a great advantage over a lot of kids who aren’t able to attend. Schools themselves have privileges over others. Some schools have the opportunity to own computers to further the education of their students, as well as having many different programs. One thing some kids complain about is also the school food. Yes, the food may not be as good as others, but kids in other schools may not even have lunch and are forced to bring their own food. The education we receive, and morals we learn in school are worth the hard work we have to go through. School shouldn’t be something we overlook because, although it’s something we rarely wish we had, it’s a very vital part in life.

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Most people in the US are privileged, some more than others. Like Marji, in the book Persepolis, some people have the most modern cars while others can barely afford one. There are many factors as to why people are more privileged than others, whether that be because of race, sex, or status. For example, on a racial stand point, in the 1960’s white people had more privileges than colored people; this being called white privilege. These days racial privileges have become less known as we push towards equality, but people, me being one of them, still think it’s a factor. Something most people in a country wouldn’t think is a privilege is their own citizenship. There are people who come to the US as hardworking immigrants and have to wait a long time to get citizenship. My brother being a Dreamer, in the program DACA, had to go through the waiting process. His friends all could take their drivers tests, get a job, and apply to any college they wanted because they had the opportunity to. Luckily, now my brother has that opportunity like many other young adults in the DACA program. People also have the opinion that genderistic advantages still exist, such as men getting paid more than woman in the workplace. It use to be worse back in the day when woman were told to ‘stay in the kitchen’ but nowadays it has gotten significantly better. Sadly though, there will always be people with more privilege because thats how the world works. I just hope those with the privilege to help others will do so.

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Ser Valiente

Bravery can be defined in many ways and have a different meaning to each person. Officially, bravery means ready to face and endure danger or pain. In a way, we can all can agree this is what it is to be brave, but I also believe there could be a different meaning to being brave. This could be as simple as venturing out and doing something you don’t usually do. In simpler words, getting our of your comfort zone. For example, if you usually don’t wear bright colors maybe try to wear a bright pink shirt the next day. This I think is brave, because although it’s just clothing, you are subjecting yourself to feeling insecure. When someone finally gives you a compliment it feels like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. 

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Another form of bravery is standing up for what you believe in. One great example of this is when we do discussions in class about an article we read. This week it was about private prisons, and we got into the topic of immigration, because illegal immigrants are usually detained in them. This is something I’m educated on, since most immigrants are from Mexico and I myself am Mexican. I was afraid to speak out in the beginning, because I was afraid my peers would form negative judgements. In the end I did speak my mind, and was glad to see other people also agreed with what I had to say. This, for me, was a big act of bravery, because I’m usually not the the of person to talk much in class unless it’s required. However, this time I spoke a lot, even saying when I disagree with people, which I never do. Something as simple as this is being brave. There are still many forms of bravery to be defined, but what’s important is what it means to you. 

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Beautiful Alstroemerias

It’s petals so yellow as if it were dripping with sunlight, and upon the streaming rays of gold, coffee brown stripes appear. This is the description of the gorgeous flower Alstroemeria. It symbolizes friendship, and just like with the delicate flower, friendship is a beautiful thing. If you do not take care of the Alstroemeria it will wither, just like with friendship.

Friendship is very wonderful, but sometimes people get themselves into a toxic relationship. Instead of a friendship being like an Alstroemeria it’s more like a Venus flytrap. Like a Venus fly trap, a toxic person will lure you in with their fake persona, and strike when you least expect it. At first they’re a great friend, but then you start noticing how they act differently around other people.  They don’t let you see their true colors, because under that mask they’re ashamed of who they truly are. This type of thing has happened to me before. I had “friends” who only needed me when it was convenient.  But if they don’t do anything to change you must be the one to walk away. These types of toxic relationships aren’t good for you, because it emotionally damages you. When you try to make new friends and new people approach you, you won’t open up as much as you used to.

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But just as there are bad people there are many good people too. They are there for you when you need them, and even when you don’t. True friends make you think about how lucky you are to have them. You both want to constantly talk about the endless wonders of the world, and fight all the hardships that come your way together. No matter how far apart you physically may be, real friends will always be there for you, through thick and thin.

The Silent Killer

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Everyone has dealt with that feeling that constantly eats away at you. It’s at the back of your mind and never seems to go away. It makes your stomach drop and your hands start to sweat. Sometimes, it makes people go crazy, and do things they never thought of doing. You might be thinking that you’ve never heard of such a thing, but this killer is one of the most common human emotions. It’s guilt.

Some people might say they’ve never felt guilty, but a study shows we experience emotional guilt for up to 5 hours a week. Minor examples of guilt experienced throughout the week would be not opening the door for someone, eating a cookie instead of an apple, or simply not saying thank you when you should have. This weekly type of guilt isn’t necessarily detrimental, but in some cases it can become overbearing.

An extreme case of guilt could make someone hurt themselves. Let’s say a person forgot to pick up their parents medication. This caused their parent to get extremely sick or even worse, pass away. The sense of guilt this person gets makes them feel like everything was their fault, and they can’t bare the pain. Every waking moment they spend is constantly thinking about the mistake they have made. They have difficulty concentrating on other things, because this feeling of guilt is just so overwhelming. Guilt this extreme can not be controlled on your own, and if you feel this way you must seek help.

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This silent killer has many negatives to it, but it also has some positives. Guilt helps us protect out relationships with others. It might push you to call your mom once in while, after she told you she missed hearing from you. Do not get this type of positive guilt mixed up with guilt tripping. Guilt tripping, on the other hand, harms relationships. It makes the person being guilt tripped feel bad even though they had done nothing wrong. This has happened to me before, and most likely many other people. Guilt is a very horrible feeling to have, but it can also be positive and help motivate people. For this reason, guilt is a very dangerous thing to play with, so never make someone feel guilty if they truly aren’t.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton